Kids and PCs? Rules, Motivation, Harmony – The Family Point System -

4 min read

Even CTOs have a personal life. 😊

I chose this topic for my first blog post because several colleagues asked me before Christmas if I could write it down for them—so here I am, keeping my promise. In this article, I share how we try to keep harmony at home when it comes to kids and technology, using a simple point system that’s all about motivation and balance.

What works at home often works at work too, and vice versa. Lead by example, fairness, and continuous improvement are principles used here.

Imagine This: A year ago, our kids thought “PC” was synonymous with after-school activities. Every day, we faced the same question at home: “Can I use the computer?”—followed by endless negotiations worthy of a professional mediator. It was time to apply the same mindset we use at work: let’s improve this! Since October 2023, our home has seen a significant reduction in conflicts around PC gaming—we started a point system.

Before

One Monday, our youngest child burned through their three-hour weekly gaming limit by lunchtime, leaving us dreaming of peace for the rest of the week. The stricter the rules we imposed, the more questions piled up: “Why can he play, but I can’t?” “All my friends play every day!” Frustration, tension, and a heavy atmosphere you could cut with a knife.

“Our answers were inconsistent, emotional, and only fueled more conflict.“

After

Today, we’re not afraid of PC-related conflicts. Our kids know the rules and see that contributing positively to the family earns them their gaming time. Best of all? They occasionally surprise us with their initiative.

The Point System: The Magic of Simplicity

How does it work? Simple. Kids earn points for activities that benefit both themselves and the family, which they trade for rewards—primarily PC gaming time (because let’s face it, that’s the real draw).

Points can be earned for:

Household help: Tasks that benefit the whole family (e.g. cleaning communal spaces or preparing meals).
Personal growth: Voluntary learning activities.
Physical activity: Push-ups, plank, stair climbs, or family trips.

Points are never given for responsibilities like cleaning their room or doing homework.

“Points are for meaningful contributions, not routine obligations.”

Setting Point Values

We started by identifying the main motivator—PC gaming—and figuring out how to regulate it.

The key is balance. We asked ourselves a simple question: What would our kids need to do to earn an hour of gaming? Initially, we aimed for a 2:1 ratio (e.g., 2 hours of learning = 1 hour of gaming). Here’s how it started:

30 minutes of voluntary learning = 5 points
1 hour of PC gaming = 20 points

We also set a daily gaming limit and adjusted point values for other activities accordingly. Over time, we fine-tuned the system to align with our kids’ preferences and our goals.

“What must they do to earn a reward? Number of points = reward value.”

Key Rules for Long-Term Success

CONSISTENCY: If kids earn points, they must receive them. No debates. You must give and deduct points for used rewards immediately.

PARENTS EARN POINTS, TOO: Yes, we joined in. One evening, I decided to game myself. As I said goodnight to my son, he looked at me and said, “It’s unfair that you can play without points.” He was right! The very next day, my wife and I started earning points too. This had an unexpected effect: our kids noticed how much we do and began to appreciate our efforts (sometimes).

NO STEALING POINTS: Don’t erase earned points as punishment! NO!!! Imagine your boss saying, “Return last month’s paycheck because you made a mistake.” Respect the system’s integrity.

How to Improve the System

Make Points Visible: Use a visible system in a shared space (we use a tablet). (See Atomic Habits by James Clear).
Holiday Bonuses: Double points during vacations.
Priority Activities: Assign higher point values to activities you want to encourage more.
Continuous Adjustments: Adjust point values to encourage less frequent behaviors.
Both Parents Involved: Both parents must be able to give points and manage rewards to keep the system sustainable.
No Borrowing Points: If you don’t have points, no gaming. Simple.
Special Points: Occasionally award extra points for extraordinary efforts after a family discussion.

“Collaborate as a team and let the system evolve with you.”

What About You?

You might think this sounds idealistic—so do I—but here’s the truth:

The journey was rocky, filled with tweaks and failures.
Sticking to the rules and tracking points can be hard.

But the effort pays off exponentially. When motivation dips, I just remind myself how things were before. 😊